Mama Daisy

You Will Want to Eat at My House for the Next Month

2009-07-21T21:13:00.002-05:00

I went hunting for scavenged underground recipes for those delicious chicken salads and thai noodles and yummy other side dishes they sell at Fresh Market for like $6 a pound, and it turns out THEY PUBLISH THEIR RECIPES ONLINE. FOR FREE. I almost want to print it all out now in case they take it down later. Go read. Be happy.

Bloggers, Unite!

2009-07-17T10:22:00.001-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Princess Molly

2009-07-13T08:52:00.002-05:00

No, you cannot eat her. I already did.

Remember Being a Teenager?

2009-06-25T18:28:00.002-05:00

we are going to be paid back...very soon.

watch this.

Goosebumps

2009-06-23T15:03:00.001-05:00

Read this.

Florida Softshell Turtle

2009-06-16T07:34:00.003-05:00

I've lived in Florida my entire life and never seen one of these ugly little suckers. On the way to camp this morning we saw a gigantic turtle in the middle of the road. No one had hit it yet, so we all hopped out of the car and I carried it across the street to the little pond it was surely trying to reach. It was kind of gross, not like a regular turtle at all. It made for an exciting morning adventure with the kids. Thankfully it did not pee on me.

I'm sure that in addition to photos, the internet also offers recipes for softshell turtle soup.

Hey Look, It's Summer in Florida

2009-06-15T09:57:00.002-05:00

Mah Butt

2009-06-07T08:53:00.001-05:00

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Dr. Tiller

2009-06-01T20:33:00.002-05:00

I have been so sad about this all day. Not just because a man was murdered, or a family lost a father and grandfather, or that women lost an advocate in the face of a terrible situation, but rather because that terrible situation exists in the first place. all of the political pulling from side to side forgets one major point: that the women who went to Dr. Tiller's clinic did so under extraordinary and heart-wrenching circumstances.

WHY would a woman choose to end a pregnancy in the third trimester? why on earth would anyone do such a thing? because of unspeakable deformities and defects -- natural oddities that most people can't even imagine. what do you do when the child you are carrying has physical and mental deformities that will lead to a painful and early death? the majority of women helped by Dr. Tiller were facing unbelievably sad and difficult circumstances and had no place else to go for help. he provided a service -- abortion, euthanasia, infanticide, whatever you choose to call it -- that no mother ever wants to voluntarily request for her unborn child.

his death reminded me today of all the many things that can go unspeakably wrong with the miracle of birth, and how painful it is to choose termination of a pregnancy instead. now those women will have no where to go.

so very sad... all of it.

like-minded links:
Cecily's story
Salon

Bedtime Story

2009-05-24T19:26:00.005-05:00

The Very Hungry Caterpillar, by Eric Poo

In the light of the moon, a little poo lay on a leaf.
(maniacal laughter)
One Sunday morning, the warm poo came up and *pop* out of the poo, came a tiny, and very hungry poo.
He started to look for some poo.

On Monday (you guessed it) he ate through one poo, but he was still hungry.
On Tuesday, he ate through two poos, but he was still hungry.
On Wednesday, he ate through three poos, but he was still hungry.
On Thursday, he ate through four poos, but he was still hungry.
On Friday, he ate through five poos, but he was still hungry.
(painful, gut wrenching laughter)
On Saturday, he ate through one piece of poo cake, one poo cone, one poo-kle, one slice of poo, one slice of poo-lami, one poo-pop, one piece of poo pie, one poo-sage, one poo cake, and one slice of poo.
That night, he had a tummy ache!

(deep breath)

The next day was Pooday again.
The caterpillar ate through one nice green poo,
and after that, he felt much better.

Now, he wasn't hungry any more.
And he wasn't a little poo any more,
he was a BIG FAT POO.

(no mommy *gasp gasp* that's not a poopy, it's a widdle caterpillar!)

He built a small house, called a poo, around himself.
He stayed inside for more than two poos.
Then he nibbled a hole in the poo, pushed his poo out, and...

he was a beautiful poo!

the end.

Two Big Firsts

2009-05-17T20:58:00.003-05:00

This is one of those posts I write more for my benefit than for yours.

Ethan has become bored with our morning routine. It's the same thing, day after day, geez mom, can't we do anything different? on Tuesday he spontaneously got up, got dressed without being asked, and said, i'm gonna go play legos. tell me when it's time to leave for school.

*blink*

*blink blink*

For the first time in his entire 6 years on the planet he got dressed without me asking him to. and then he did it again the next day. and the next. and the next.

YEE HAA, i tell ya, WOOHOO! my life has suddenly gotten SO MUCH EASIER.

second, only because he was born second but no less remarkable, this weekend for the first time ever, dear sweet sammy let go of me in the pool and kicked his little heart out with floaties on his arms. he was SO thrilled. after a minute i tried to help him and he said, no mommy, i don't need your help, i can do it myself.

i looked around the pool and no one else seemed to notice the totally miraculous milestone passing right before their eyes.

sometimes this mothering thing is totally freakin' cool.

we went to the springs today for a potluck picnic. it was awesome. the sun was hot, but not too hot, the woods were gorgeous in their late spring glory. in florida, this means things were blooming but the bugs and general fecundity of the forest is not yet overwhelming and the heat not yet the oppressive sauna of summer. we played, we swam, we ate, we left. everyone had a blast.

life is good.

I Love the 80's

2009-05-13T10:55:00.004-05:00

I am listening to the Totally 80's two disc set. I freaking love it, and I don't care if that makes me an uber dork. I am amazed by the number of these songs I owned on a 45 record. I think I sold all my 45's at a garage sale a few years ago. Now I miss them.

previous 45's encountered on cd:
Gloria
Jessie's Girl
Centerfold
867-5309
Queen of Hearts (actually, i think that one belonged to my sister Jen, but I ended up with it)

yay!

I had forgotten about this... but I played the theme to Ghostbusters in middle school band. Surely I get geek points for that?

Sam Says

2009-05-12T07:29:00.000-05:00

Mama, when I'm giant like you, can I walk in the clouds?

Da Kitty Iz Rite

2009-05-11T07:43:00.001-05:00

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Yes, I Swear I'm Working

2009-05-07T10:44:00.001-05:00

It's lunch time. Geez... keep your judgments to yourself.

Go here now. Type in your name. You will thank me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Reduction in Force

2009-05-07T08:33:00.003-05:00

So... I'm taking an informal poll.

for those of you who work in a corporate environment, when there are layoffs at work, does that make you want to:

A. work harder
B. work less hard
C. work the same as before
D. gouge your eyeballs out with a fork before jumping from a bridge

I am still employed. My husband is still employed. We are incredibly grateful. However, the suckitude of repeated layoffs is great.

Macho Macho Man

2009-05-06T09:41:00.001-05:00

My grand evil plan has succeeded. I have managed to get the kids hooked on Disco. Every morning on the way to school they beg and scream, "I wanna hear disco music -- please!!!"

the past two days they have made me repeat Kung Fu Fighting the whole way to school. I love it.

heh heh.

News Flash

2009-05-04T08:13:00.002-05:00

Ethan Cole has his first loose tooth!

mom, is the tooth fairy real?
what happens if my tooth gets lost under my pillow?
will the tooth fairy still bring me money if i swallow my tooth?
how long does it take to come out?
will it hurt?

so what is the going rate for a baby tooth these days? it used to be a buck each, but what with the crumbling economy and inflation, i'm not sure if that rate still holds.

Diz-nee

2009-04-16T07:57:00.010-05:00

The nicest thing about staying at a Diz-nee resort is that they plant bunnies along with the shrubberies. Really, they do. We see a dozen bunnies each trip. It totally rocks.

The actual day at the theme park kind of sucked. As native Floridians, we know better than to visit the Kingdom on Spring Break. Oh, what a painful lesson that is to learn again. Both kids were sick and grouchy. It was hot, then rainy, then cold. Bleh. So the next day we bought the kids lollipops the size of their heads! woohoo! sugar!

We went outside to play and watch for bunnies and eat candy. That made us all happy.

What? This trip cost how much? You must be joking...

But we got to hug Winnie the Pooh!

and Tigger!!!

and visit with our very good friends. it was totally worth it.

Sam and Lela love playing together. They are good friends. Sam can't say the letter L. I loved hearing him say, "wook Wewa, wook at dat!"

Jack has grown into a young man, almost overnight. He is an amazing person and just great with the littler kids.

drive 'em to the house of mouse, and Sam still likes the playground best.

no pictures, but Ethan and I once again stayed late and went on as many roller coasters as we could. THAT was the best part. Him turning out to be a roller coaster person is the most unexpected and fantastic gift.

I Loves My Mama

2009-04-13T19:00:00.002-05:00

my mom sent me a birthday card with a bookmark (yay mom) that says:

I want you to know
that in my heart,
you're always with me.
Not a day goes by
when I don't
think about you,
care about you,
and wish
good things for you.

i know i'm a sentimental hallmark sap, but good god, is there anything better than that? i sure do love my mom. i am so very fortunate to have had her all these years. she has been there for me through thick and thin. she taught me how to be a good mother. i am forever grateful.

29 years later ***cough cough cough*** happy birthing day to you, mom. thanks for bringing me into this world, and keeping me alive and well all these ***ahem*** many years.

(i will be 29 for the 8th time tomorrow. my mom rocks.)

This is making my day immeasurably better...

2009-03-31T09:34:00.001-05:00

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News Flash

2009-03-27T11:20:00.003-05:00

Ethan has two, count 'em, TWO kidneys. and they are in the right place.

He did NOT like the blood draw and got very bored waiting to have the ultrasound.

That is all.

Updates

2009-03-24T19:29:00.004-05:00

my bestest friend visited from texas. it was lovely to see her, but i was thrilled to see her kids. the mamas are all getting together again in another month, but the kids... i don't know when i'll see them again. james was easily 4-5 inches taller than the last time i saw them. it's nice to love on somebody else's kids like they're your own.

in other news, my work moved to a new, large, gray, tan, cubicle type office space. i am shopping for colorful scenic posters to cover the gray cube walls so i don't gouge my eyes out from depression. whee.

ethan is doing ok. i know i owe at least 2 of you a phone call or email, but i swear to god i don't remember who i've talked to and who i haven't. he has a chronic kidney condition that will likely plague him through adolescence with no permanent damage in adulthood. at the moment, his kidneys don't hurt him, but the massive dose of steroids he is taking make him alternately starving and then nauseated, weak, and tired. he goes to school for as long as he can stand it, and then he calls us to go home. he is a super trooper. it will be this way for another 3 weeks, with maintenance doses of steroids for another two months. then relapse when he gets a cold or allergies or other hit to his system.

i am so very grateful for:
my family
my children
my few but good friends
my job
my health insurance
our collective good health

OK

2009-03-18T08:26:00.002-05:00

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we are doing better and getting more fine with the whole kidney thing. ethan feels intermittantly ouchie from kidneys and then spastic because of mega steroid doses. he is home with grandma susan today.

Balance

2009-03-16T18:12:00.004-05:00

i am sitting on the back porch at sunset listening and watching as the woodpeckers and squirrels go about their business. a mockingbird is singing to another mockingbird a block away. they are repeating the same song back and forth to each other.

i realize i haven't spent that much time on the back porch in the new house. we've lived here two years.

ethan is getting better. but he is not. we are trying to learn how to live with a chronic health condition. how do we comfort him without coddling him. keep him up with his school work but let him rest. be there for him but hold down a full-time job. how much is too much? how much is enough? will it be the same looking back six months from now?

long-leaf pine trees whistle a lovely sway in a stiff breeze.

i went to wal*mart last friday or so to get ethan bigger clothes. i was worrying about him and generally wringing my hands over the smallest thing. i was flipping through the same rack as a woman about my age with two small boys about my boys' ages running around between the racks, getting into trouble.

the mom huffed and said, don't have boys.
i said, i know... i've got two of my own at home.
she said, it's been two months since i lost my six year old baby girl. she got run over by a semi truck while she was riding her bike.

i gasped and clucked and said how sorry i was. we talked for a few minutes while we hunted for the right sized boy shorts, and then went on our own ways. i told her good luck.

i don't know what you want to call it, god or the universe or fate or chance, but something put that total stranger in my path to tell me the story of her baby girl and make me appreciate that my baby boy is here. he is ok. he is alive. he will thrive. when i look in his eyes, he sees me and looks back. i will worry about him until the day i die or the day he dies, whichever comes first. i assume that if there is a heaven, it spares you from the burden of worrying about the living.

i do love him so. i am so very grateful to know him.

tasha the cat is climbing a tree chasing a lizard. time to put the kids in the bath and then bed.

We Like Breathing Deeply

2009-03-13T12:31:00.002-05:00

the kid probably has minimal change disease, or a generic nephrotic syndrome. yay kidneys! it turns out, they are mighty important. we spent many hours in the ER yesterday and saw many people who were far sicker than ethan. most likely, this can be managed over time, so we are extremely grateful for that. he is at home, comfortable, and responding to meds. this is good.

scary, scary shit.

i'm off to target to buy baggy clothes for my dear sweet puffy kid.

did i mention that my dear sweet puffy kid is a total 100% super trooper? he had to have blood work done (needle in the vein, gross), spent 6 hours at the hospital, and saw like 8 doctors without complaint. he rocks. i will forever be proud and in awe of him.

thanks for the love, prayers, peaceful energy, and healing thoughts. we can feel it!

Fuckin' A

2009-03-11T20:15:00.004-05:00

from web md, source of maternal anxiety attacks around the globe:

Nephrotic syndrome is a rare kidney disorder that causes high levels of protein in the urine (proteinuria) and low levels of protein in the blood. It may cause high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and swelling around the eyes, arms, legs, and feet.

Symptoms of nephrotic syndrome include loss of appetite, unexpected weight gain, abdominal pain, and weakness.
Common causes of nephrotic syndrome include kidney diseases as well as other diseases and conditions that affect the kidneys, including diabetes, systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), and hepatitis C. Allergic reactions to insect bites, poisonous plants, and medications can also lead to nephrotic syndrome.

Nephrotic syndrome can affect both adults and children. It can often be cured by removing or treating the cause (for instance, stopping use of a medication). If the cause is not treatable or is not known, medications may be used to reduce the symptoms of nephrotic syndrome. If the problem causing nephrotic syndrome is not corrected, the disorder can progress to kidney failure.

Ethan is currently being treated at home with steroids for this 3 in 100,000 anomoly. for the love of fucking god, why, and when the hell will it go away? the doctor asked if we wanted to hospitalize him or just call if he has breathing problems during the night. WT effing F?

***

i have lovely baby pictures, tales of sisterly hair makeovers, and adventures in Boca Raton to tell about... after I march myself down from this current and much deserved cliff of a panic attack. woohoo!

(just keep swimming, just keep swimming)

Ahhh...

2009-02-20T14:27:00.003-05:00

go ahead, try and tell me Molly is not the most delicious and yummy baby you have ever seen. (other than my babies, of course)

mom and baby are resting and doing great. dad is in love with both. all is well with the world.

C-Section at Midnight

2009-02-20T06:51:00.002-05:00

7 lbs. 11 ounces. lots of black hair.

that is all i know.

YAY baby! but i hope the mamafoof is ok. she had one hell of a long day yesterday. she wanted to go au naturale. any labor that ends in healthy baby and healthy mama is a good one.

So Jen...

2009-02-19T15:50:00.002-05:00

Molly is a Singer in the Band ***

2009-02-19T08:13:00.003-05:00

***Updated Below***

My sister is having her baby today! YAY! everyone please cross your fingers and think good thoughts that Jen will have an easy time of it and Molly will soon be here safe and sound.

YAY!

also... ethan's tummy plague skipped me (for now) and went straight to steve. he had a very yucky 24 hours. poor guy. i am setting off clorox bombs all over the house in the hope i will get lucky and be spared.

besides, i need to be cootie-free to go visit the BABY!!!

*** 3:30 pm update: 9 cm and dilating. yay! YAY! hmm... i wonder if she got the epidural...

Interrupted Dreams

2009-02-16T12:21:00.003-05:00

from the bathroom, at 1 am:

"Mom"

"Yes"

"I have a situation"

my kid is so cool. even with upchuck after midnight, he is still awesome. he made it out of his bed, past the piles of toys and shoes and clothes and into the bathroom, but not quite all the way to the toilet.

and then he felt better. Oh! so much Better!

as he watched me, half asleep, clean up the not-as-bad-as-it-could-have-been-but-still-bad mess, he started analyzing the contents of said mess. what's that? how do you suppose that got there? that doesn't look like grapes, mom. no, i don't think so.

ah, the inquisitive young mind...

he is still pukey, feverish, sweaty, and yucky. my poor little guy! and you know who's next, right? there is not enough bleach in the world to contain an outbreak in our house.

in other news... my sister's baby girl is due in two weeks. yay! as long as i'm not carrying bubonic plague, i get to go manhandle their pweshuss newborn in exchange for frozen casseroles. i am totally getting the better end of the deal.

Rainy Day

2009-02-14T19:06:00.003-05:00

Suckage

2009-02-13T08:29:00.003-05:00

local weather for Friday the 13th:

dude, WTH?

also in the department of things that suck, i am told that i suck for not blogging more. i will make every effort to remedy the situation, however, i'm not promising fireworks. i'll try for more kid pictures than cat pictures, how about that?

7 is a good number

2009-02-05T10:27:00.008-05:00

Today is mine and Steve's 7th wedding anniversary. YAY us!

there were more than a few doubters when we hopped that plane to Vegas, so I say to them, nyah nyah!

look at this bright shiny new couple. soooo happy. so skinny. so unmarried and toddler-snot free. so very out to the theater! at night! we had a whole lot of fun during our brief and uber-romantic courtship. it was lovely. thank you, my Steven.

and Aunt Jenny, happy birthday to you! thank you for letting us share your day, and for putting together our private little wedding. we would have gotten married in a drive thru if it weren't for you.

Psyched!

2009-02-02T20:12:00.002-05:00

I am SO excited to watch a boot*legged copy of last night's UFC fight with BJ Penn and George St. Pierre. I am voting for BJ, while Steve thinks GSP will come out on top. Either way, it is going to be a FANTASTIC fight, with two exceptionally talented fighters on the mat.

YAY! a wee bit of blood sport is a good thing. :-)

Go Ahead, Try and Tell Me This Doesn't Make Everything Better

2009-01-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

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Give a Little Back

2009-01-23T13:50:00.003-05:00

You know how President Obama (I just love saying that... President Obama... yay!) said that we all need to pull together and volunteer our time to help each other? I just found a really easy and fantastic way I can do that...

There is a nifty little website called Any Soldier. They distribute mailing addresses for US soldiers stationed in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere so that citizens who want to can send them a care package.

Troops sign up to post their mailing addresses and sometimes a short wish list. They are asking for candy and magazines and the sort of thing you'd normally expect, but they also ask for sheets, socks, gloves, razors, shampoo -- all sorts of basic things I thought were provided for them but aren't.

I read through some of the troop responses on the website, and they are thrilled to get letters of support and little things that remind them of home. It seems like sending a package is a small thing to do that can have a big impact on other people.

Note to self: add 'Not deployed overseas' to list of things for which I am grateful.

Gratitude Attitude

2009-01-23T08:21:00.003-05:00

I am extremely grateful for:

***the ability to breathe
***the evil death freeze is almost over and my toes will defrost
***my sweet delicious new baby niece is on the way soon
***my boss is letting me go visit sweet delicious baby niece even when I have tons and tons of work to do
***one or two relatives who are not completely bat shit crazy
***IT IS FRIDAY!!!

everybody say yay! YAY!

Attention Family and Friends

2009-01-22T08:33:00.003-05:00

I am not ignoring you. I am not dead. I lost my phone.

ha ha ha ha

email me or call steve. his number is one digit greater than mine.

and for those of you who are not trying to call me, may i present to you a recycled lolcat:

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Rebellious Hope

2009-01-20T11:07:00.003-05:00

Nom nom nom

2009-01-13T10:01:00.002-05:00

i'm not much in the mood to write much these days (sorry 'bout that) so instead i will provide to you only the best recycled content on the web.

go visit amalah and read her beautiful post about how completely delicious and heart expanding it is to have TWO wonderful children. and goddamn, that baby is so cute i could just eat him up. nom nom nom...

also, it is apparently National Delurking Day, or so I'm told. So if you are here, leave I comment so I can say hello. Thanks!

Vacation

2009-01-09T13:58:00.002-05:00

you know what i missed when i was home on vacation for a week and a half? coming home to my family every day after work. it feels so good to come home to them.

i'll look away now while you puke. hey, i'll even hold your hair for you.

This is funny to everyone, right?

2009-01-07T10:30:00.003-05:00

i just about died laughing while reading this. miss dadamama does a fabulous job of writing the scene to its utmost hillarity, but then, potty humor has been tops at our house for quite a while.

Fmurf

2009-01-06T12:54:00.002-05:00

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i had this really cool post half written about my fantastic weekend, but then i had many hours of laundry and now work and now it's tuesday and the sunday blog post is still not yet written. fmurf. pleh. cthaw.

i was a truly spectacular weekend. :-)

also behind on blog reading so i don't know how you all are. how are you?

Stuffed Rosemary Focaccia

2008-12-30T14:23:00.000-05:00

This comes from Lora Brody’s book, Pizza, Focaccia, Flat, and Filled Breads. I’m not creative enough to come up with this on my own, but I sure as heck can cook it. This bread is delicious whether or not you make it with the filling. I think today I’m going make it with cream cheese and olives stuffed inside. Yummy. (This is why I'm fat. Please join me! and pass the wine!)

Fresh rosemary and inspiration to bake today are courtesy of DadaMama. Thanks for the super yummy bacon breakfast. Your generosity will return to you tenfold.

For the dough:
1 Tbs yeast
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
1 tsp. dried rosemary or 1 Tbs fresh rosemary leaves
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/4 cups water

In bread machine (or whatever -- stand mixer? you’re too cool), place all ingredients and set program to manual or dough. Add just enough extra water, if necessary, to make a soft, slightly tacky dough. At the end of the final knead, remove the dough from the machine to a lightly floured work space. Knead the dough several times, adding just enough flour to keep it from sticking to the surface. Cover it with a clean cloth while you prepare the filling.

To finish the focaccia:
1/2 cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes drained and cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1/3 cup black oil-cured olives, pitted and cut in half
4 ounces cream cheese or goat cheese
2 Tbs oil from the tomatoes
coarse salt
(You can skip the filling, or modify it however you like, but do not skip the salt and oil on top -- extreme yumminess factor.)

Spray a 9 or 10 inch spring form pan with nonstick vegetable spray or coat it slightly with vegetable oil (or just use cornmeal to keep it from sticking to a baking stone or cookie sheet). Cut the dough in half and stretch or roll one half to a 9 or 10 inch circle. Fit the circle into the bottom of the prepared pan. Sprinkle the dough with the tomatoes, the olives, and finally, pinches of the cream cheese or crumbles of the goat cheese, leaving a 1 inch border of dough around the circumference. Moisten the outer edge of the dough with water.

Roll the remaining dough out to a circle the same size as the first and place it over the filling. Pinch the edges of the two piece of dough to close. Use the point of a knifed to cut three 1/2 inch vent holes in the top piece of dough, cover the pan with a piece of plastic wrap, and set it in a warm place to rise for 30 minutes, or until doubled in bulk.

Preheat the oven to 475 degrees with the rack in the center position. Just before you place the pan in the oven, press down lightly with you fingertips to make indentations in the to of the cough. Drizzle on the tomato oil (or regular olive oil) and sprinkle with the coarse salt. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the top is golden brown. Release the springform sides and allow the focaccia to cool for 10 minutes before cutting.

(If memory serves me, it takes longer for it to cook, but that might be because I’ve never used a springform pan. I increase the amount of olives, cheese, and rosemary, and skip the tomatoes most of the time.)

Happy Baking!

Holy Role Reversal, Batman!

2008-12-25T11:55:00.003-05:00

I gave my spectacular husband a pizza stone for christmas. i thought it was cool and that he would like it, but i had no idea we were playing the "who can give the better gift" game. he got me (us) two tickets to see a UFC MMA event in Tampa! wooohoooo! i know that not a single person who reads this will appreciate how cool this is, but trust me, it is exponentially better than any other gift i can think of. i LOVE mixed marital arts. YAY!

the kids are burnt out after this morning's toy orgy. life is as it should be.

Merry Christmas!

by the way, Martian Matter Lunar Lava liquid burns if you get it in your eyes. just so's ya know.

Moral Dilemma #623

2008-12-17T20:54:00.002-05:00

i bought all my christmas presents this year through Am*a*zon. it seems that they accidentally shipped me two $50 leapsters instead of one. i checked my account and they only charged me once. now, we all know that the morally correct thing for me to do would be to return the duplicate and let them know it was a mistake. but...

tomorrow i am taking a load of groceries and hand-me-down toddler clothes over to a battered women's shelter. i KNOW there is a child there would be much appreciative of a free Leapster educational video game toy.

so, should i:

A. donate it to the shelter and then willingly pay for it if the online retailer calls me on it, yet gladly not pay for it if they don't, OR
B. be honest and send it back and tell them it was a mistake.

does donating the item to charity make any difference to my kharma when i am keeping it without paying for it? or am i still going to hell, even though i don't believe in hell?

what would you do?

God I Love These Things

2008-12-16T13:39:00.002-05:00

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Thank you all for sending the cute kitty and puppy links when I was sick. I am better now, but the cuteness will live on forever.

In other haven't-posted-in-a-while news...

Some evil child at school pushed my precious boy child down on the playground and bloodied his precious nose. If I ever get my hands on that little... why I'll... grrr...

Sam is absolutely delicious and cute and also had bronchitis for at least a week before it occurred to me to stay home from work and take him to the doctor. le sigh...

My mom is becoming the crazy cat lady. Shocking, I know. She has her four cats, my grandmother's cat and sweet but yippy lap dog, and now she adopted two very tiny and cute new kittens. She is exceptionally happy and excited, so I am happy for her. (but yes, that's 7 cats and a dog, for those doing the math at home.) We are going to visit her next weekend to see the miniature cuteness quickly while they are still so miniature.

Some time in the last year the Christmas ornaments were moved to the attic where no one feels like going to retrieve them. Instead, the Christmas tree has become the receptacle for all kinds of lovely handmade decorations, including snowflakes, christmas bats, paper skis, and thank god, one paper mache hippopotomus and one paper mache dinosaur. Turns out to be a pretty good theme.

extremely grateful to be:
employed
not pregnant
employed
housed
fed
insured
familied
loved

Gratitude

2008-12-09T21:32:00.001-05:00

Steve and I have two healthy, smart, beautiful, and happy boys. They are safe. They are warm. They have enough food to eat. That's all that really matters.

(and yes, they are mighty goddamned cute all snuggly and tucked into their beds for the night.)

I am an Uber-Dork, exhibits A, B, and possibly C

2008-12-06T10:14:00.003-05:00

A. I have recently become OBSESSED with finding and printing coupons online, thanks to DadaMama and her friend over at Gee-Ville Deals. They taught be about coupons.com and the utter joy of combining a coupon AND a buy one get one free deal. I just keep printing coupons... $1 off...$1 off...$1 off... it's like printing free money! woohoo!

B. one of these websites alerted me that Lowe's has half off christmas decorations AND i got a $10 off mailer from Lowe's that can be COMBINED FOR UBER SAVINGS. the sale includes fake trees. i am trying to convince steve that if they are not too cheesy looking, we should get one instead of killing a fresh tree every year, even if they are grown for that explicit purpose. we bought a potted norfolk pine two years in a row. i killed the first one. the second one was nice, but not very christmassy. so this morning we are going to go buy a 50% off christmas tree plus $10 off! woohoo!

C. *this afternoon we are going to decorate the tree while watching the SEC championship game. woohoo!

D. right now we are eating a breakfast of biscuits, bacon, and blueberries. meals that include alliteration contribute to my overall joy.

*note to grandma susan: we will save some decorating for when you get back, and if we get a fake tree i will also get real tree trimmings to make a wreath. that way we will still have that yummy pine smell in the house.

Still Around...

2008-12-05T10:02:00.002-05:00

this makes me happy:

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i have lots of good things to blog about, especially since it's been so long without blogging, but at the moment i have a major case of the yucky blahs and need to look at pictures of cute bunnies and kitties often to keep me going. my asthma has been raging and difficult to control. it makes me physically exhausted and weary. then it bums me out because i know it will be here for the next 4 months. it pisses me off to be limited in any way. i am not a good patient.

so... here's to sucking it up! stay calm and carry on! (i think i'll go add that to my sidebar now.)

Fricken Fracken Frock

2008-11-22T10:14:00.005-05:00

I spent my lunch break the other day going to old navy to buy matching shirts for the kids so we could have our pictures taken today. this is the last weekend before thanksgiving and i'm sure as hell not going anywhere near the mall after turkey day. it's this weekend or never for this year. sam was sick for the last two years of school pictures, and hasn't had a single visit to a professional photographer since he was a year old. he is in desperate need of an 8x10 or else i'm sure that his second-sibling unfairness complex will require therapy at some point.

so today is picture day and now sam has some weird rash around his mouth and on his cheeks. am i concerned that he has an exotic virus? no. i am pissed because it's derailing picture plans.

you can't see it that much in this picture, but you can bet if i go drop cash on real photos, it will be bright as day.

speaking of bright as day, this makes me exceptionally happy.

these socks are my happy thought. i can continue with my life now.

i am going to the craft store to buy holiday origami paper, yarn, felt, and glue gun refills because clearly i am a sadist who needs arts and crafts punishment. steve will be taking the children to get haircuts, rash or no rash, in the hopes that perhaps we can get portraits done tomorrow.

A few feet from my bedroom window..

2008-11-21T09:32:00.007-05:00

This is a picture of the Coral snake Steve found a few feet away from our bedroom window last weekend. I scared it trying to get a picture, so you can’t see his beautiful yellow and black face.

They really are gorgeous snakes with rich vibrant colors. Unfortunately, they are more than a wee bit poisonous. People often confuse them with King snakes, which are harmless. There is a rhyme to tell them apart. I can never remember it correctly so it does me no good at all. Something like “red black yellow, friendly fellow, black yellow red, you’re dead.” But you can rearrange the words to make either one of them the poisonous one. Now I just remember that if the red and yellow are touching, it’s poisonous. They are very docile snakes, though, and you really have to go out of your way to get one to bite you. And even then, they don’t really bite – they have to gnaw on you for a bit. The two occasions I’ve seen one in or near my home, the man I was standing next to jumped out of the way, while I poked it with a stick.

Whoa, I just read the Wikipedia article on Coral snakes. If red and yellow are touching, back the hell away! Not only are they deadly, but apparently the only US maker of coral snake antivenom has ceased production. Existing stocks will be depleted by October to December of 2008 (right about now, y'all). So, um, I'll be more careful pulling weeds now.

The Zen of Alzheimer's

2008-11-20T12:42:00.003-05:00

My mother lives in the here and now. She doesn't think about last week or next week or even yesterday. She doesn't worry about her mortgage, or her heatlh, or anything at all. It seems so liberating.

Peace

2008-11-17T12:16:00.003-05:00

My grandmother died last week. She was my last remaining grandparent, and without a doubt, the most foul. I can remember a few nice things about her from when I was little. She taught my sisters and me how to make and paint ceramics. I remember her reading us a bedtime story. She had a 1967 Chevy Impala convertible with sparkly forest green paint and a white canvas top. We loved to ride with the top down.

But the predominant impression I have, which is also shared by everyone I can think of, is that she was the most foul, mean, and bitter person we ever knew. She kept herself alive for years sustained by pure hatred and venom. Really, I do not exaggerate. It was impossible to have a conversation with her for more than 5 minutes without her beginning a rant about how evil men are or how the damned (pick a racial or ethnic group) people were overrunning the country. She hated every one and every thing – except of course her pets. You could talk to her for a few minutes about dogs and cats before she would start in complaining about those sick people who abuse animals.

She was miserable. And she had been for as long as I’d known her.

The lesson here is to choose to live your life with love and happiness rather than bitterness and anger. Everyone has shit thrown in their path. Some more than others, yes, but how we react to adversity is what defines us. This woman lived 90 years, and there is not a single human being on the planet who will mourn her loss. I personally take this as an example of how not to live. I may try and fail, but I will attempt to leave kindness in my wake.

May she rest in peace. And may my dear mother and step father have peace now in her absence. They cared for her for a year while she was dying, even as she hurled ugliness at them. Thank god for Hospice.

***

So… how do you tell your kids about death? I had to talk to Ethan about this. He was not close to my grandmother, and I had prepped him for her death the last few times we saw her. He asked me lots of questions. I had to try and explain cremation to him in a way that did not evoke the holocaust or an evil witch pushing children in the oven to bake. That was tricky.

I don’t believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in a human spirit or soul. I told Ethan that his great-gramma’s spirit left her body because her body didn’t work any more. It didn’t eat, didn’t talk, didn’t sleep, it didn’t feel pain. I told him that no one knows for sure where a spirit goes after the body dies. Everyone has different ideas and Ethan can believe whatever idea he thinks is right for him. I told him that wherever her spirit is, I hope it is peaceful and happy.

***

Another heavy topic… are my mother and I the only ones who think that allowing someone to die slowly over a 10 month period is inhumane? When our dogs and cats are diagnosed with a terminal disease and are in pain or unable to function, we gently and kindly put them out of their misery. I don’t understand why we don’t give humans the same privilege of going quietly and with dignity.

I suppose it is difficult to legislate something like this in a way that protects the dying person from unscrupulous relatives. Although, they have found a way to do this in Oregon and Washington state. Just so we’re clear, if I ever become an invalid and am diagnosed as terminal, I want the opportunity to have my family gather around me, say goodbye, and take a pill. I don’t want to become a breathing skeleton, and I don’t want my family to have to see me that way. To say that it is difficult and ugly to watch someone die slowly is one hell of an understatement. In my opinion, it’s cruel to both the patient and the family.

What do you think? What do you tell your kids?

Hero Dude

2008-11-05T15:23:00.005-05:00

or here, for eloquence.

Today is the Day

2008-11-04T10:14:00.005-05:00

So go vote already. I am on like 10 different political email lists, and they are all yelling at me to go vote. So this is your reminder.

Is everyone else as completely obsessed with this election as I am? This is going to be an incredibly long day. I've already read the entire internet, and still I am not satisfied. I won't be able to take a complete deep breath until the gun-shy television networks FINALLY call it around 11 PM tonight.

I took Ethan with me to vote early on Saturday. I kept saying to him, this is so exciting... it's so important... it's so exciting. I was trying to slip in civics lessons wherever I could, and he was rather tolerant for a six year old. Several hours later he asked me what "exciting" means (perhaps my idea of excitement didn't quite match his). I just love that he processed it for a few hours before asking me about it.

PS: dear lord, please don't let Florida voting problems screw it up this time. I don't care if the state goes red or blue (well, of course I care) but please let it be a fair and honest and functional election that does not require litigation afterwards. Please. At least, let's pick a different problem state this time, ok?

Monkey Men

2008-10-28T07:42:00.010-05:00

Happy Birthday, my little monkey man. Today you are a whopping 3 years old, although you'll tell anyone who will listen that you are 5. When I woke you up this morning and told you it was your birthday, you replied with "presents?" you are already wise to the world.

Your manipulation skills are coming along nicely, too. last week you were in the bathtub and calling me over and over again in that whiney bored way. i was ignoring you. you were fine. after a few minutes of calling you said, "mommy! poopy!" i said, poopy in the tub? you said, poopy! i came running, only to see your very satisfied smile followed by a giggle. no poop. just a little boy who knows what works.

Because I will never again have time to create a photo montage, here is the one from your first year of life.

You are an absolute delight. Thank you for being my son.

How lucky am I? I have TWO incredibly fantastic little monkey men! Ethan is pretty cute peeking around the corner... we are so blessed.

God Damned Anniversaries (family should not read)

2008-10-27T20:00:00.006-05:00

19 years ago today my father died after a 6 month battle with cancer. Tomorrow, my sweet baby Sam will turn 3 years old.

a few days ago, i was telling steve i was feeling a lot of anxiety.
he said, if you knew why it happened, could you turn it off?
i said, i was only able to do that once.
he waited a few minutes before he asked, when was that?
i said, the day we had the ultrasound. i didn't have time to freak out. we had to go pick ethan up from school. so i flipped a switch, and buried it all down nice and deep.

the day we had that conversation turned out to be 4 years to the day that the original incident took place. that was the day we found out that "something is wrong with the baby." the baby i was carrying, and so excited to be carrying, turned out to have a chromosomal abnormality along with a severe physical deformity and other health problems. the baby would not survive infancy, and if it did, it would have a lifetime of medical problems, surgeries, deformity, and mental retardation.

i had an abortion. at 16 weeks and 2 days pregnant with a baby i desperately wanted, i had an abortion. i don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. they couldn't tell. the 4th anniversary of that terrible loss will be November 2nd, which was election day the year it happened.

I am so horribly confused by so many conflicting emotions. it is impossible not to mourn the loss of that baby's life. election season has reminded me so much of that time. it is hard for me to get involved politically the way i normally would. it's just too much of a reminder. words cannot possibly express what a devastating blow this was for me and my family. if i didn't have ethan to live for, i don't think i would have made it through.

i have anniversaries of death and mourning to remember, and then right there in the middle is the celebration of my Sammy's birth. this child, what a miracle of a child. when i was pregnant with him, we had more rigorous testing and extra sonograms because of my past history of a baby with a chromosomal disorder. i spent the first 14 weeks terrified that the same thing would happen again. we went to have a special ultrasound to look for this, a nuchal translucency or NT scan. they checked him out and said everything was fine. the baby was growing and forming the way he should. everything was in the right place. he was going to be ok. but then...

my cervix was short. i'd had a procedure in between pregnancies because of pre-cancerous cells. apparently, they hadn't left enough cervix behind to safely carry a baby to term. the doctor said, if you lose this one, we'll sew up the cervix for the next one.

if you lose this one...

i look at my dear sweet sammy and think, my god, how could i have lost this one? i love him so much. i spent the next 4 months on bedrest scared to death that i would lose him. i am so grateful for his life and his health. but then i think of the baby i lost, and i know i would have loved that child so very much. not seeing the baby's face didn't lessen the pain of loss. being responsible for it only added guilt and misery.

i would do it all again, exactly the same way, if i had another chance. the best solution would be for it to never have happened at all. but if i hadn't ended that pregnancy, it is physically impossible for me to have had sam. and how could life possibly be without my sam?

this season is hard for me. i remember my losses and celebrate my gifts, all at the same time.

Cecily is going through the same pain over at Uppercase woman. yay internet for helping me find eloquent and intelligent women who are eating the same shit i am.

thanks for listening.

So Says the Boy Child

2008-10-24T09:51:00.001-05:00

I like to laugh. Sometimes when I laugh, I feel all fizzy inside.

Sly Mama

2008-10-21T12:23:00.000-05:00

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I don't want to step in KaKa...

2008-10-21T07:46:00.003-05:00

Dearest fellow bloggers who like to curse as much as I do,

I do not want to single anyone out or hurt anyone's feelings at all. I have republican friends and democrat friends. In the past, I have been guilty of calling people "on the other side" idgets or crazy or otherwise talking about them in a not-nice way. But when I do that, I'm insulting half of the country and many of my friends and family. So I'm trying not to do it anymore. Rather than denigrate the person for making a different choice, I am going to do my best to respect my fellow citizens and their opinions even when they differ GREATLY from mine. (I might fail, but I'm going to try.)

When you say 'those idiot voters' who elect the wrong person, you are talking about me. Please don't do that. If I'm overreacting, I apologize.

And I most certainly hope that whoever is elected will be a strong and honorable Commander in Chief who keeps your husband safe and provides him with decent medical care and equipment and the respect he deserves. I think everyone agrees with that.

Undecided Voters

2008-10-13T10:30:00.002-05:00

I have friends who are undecided -- although I don't really understand the concept of an undecided voter, I will still be your friend.

Go read this article for the least biased assessment of the candidates' viewpoints I have found. It is a short article that compares McCain and Obama line by line on major voting issues, without marketting or spin. It will help you vote according to policy decisions about the issues, not who wore a nicer tie or aired the nastier commercial.

::tangent::

we had a fabulous weekend with old friends and their kids who came to visit from Georgia. we had kids ages 12, 6, almost 3, and almost 3. they paired up very nicely -- it was so much fun! we did nothing but watch tv, play, wrestle, swim, play, drink, eat, etc. hooray!

Am I Ever the Bossy Big Sister, or What?

2008-10-09T19:16:00.006-05:00

oy vay. the tarot quiz was courtesy of Miss Marsha in Mississippi, who absolutely deserves a girlfriend getaway weekend.

More proof of my bossy know-it-all-ness is over at the preggo blog. Go check it out and add your must-have baby gear to the list.

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I Repeat, Everything is Fine

2008-10-08T08:07:00.000-05:00

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Spoiled Rotten

2008-10-07T07:27:00.004-05:00

I have no pictures from the beach (or else my children would have evidence that I went there without them), but I did bring home a few select shells (screw the kids).

The weekend getaway was absolutely lovely, and a true sanity saver.

Start with a 2 hour car ride listening to Bjork's first two solo albums. Followed by 3 hours at the spa for deep tissue massage and heavenly facial. Next on to a beach side shack sports bar for lunch and the 4th quarter of the Gator game (go Gators). Then reading by the pool and jumping in and out of the hot tub while drinking champagne out of plastic water bottles. We are nothing if not classy... I am halfway through the Mermaid Chair, and hope to finish it this century.

Next a walk on the beach, followed by dinner and more college football at another beachside bar. THEN 12 HOURS OF MIGHTY SLEEP. ahhhh...

breakfast at the diner across the street, more reading by the pool, then shopping at the outlet mall to acquire George, oh lovely George, the most perfect purse ever that I will use for at least 7 years so that I do not go to hell for spending that much money on a purse. It's really a good bag. The revolutionary tribunal will get me for it, I know.

BEST of all: when I got back home, Steve had cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry, taken the boys outside to play kickball and play in the sprinklers one day and taken them swimming the next, mowed and edged the lawn, and trimmed the hedges. And best of all, he did not complain about my absence, but he did look rather sad to see me headed back out to go to dinner with the larger group of girlfriends. It was ever so sweet. So I can home early to keep him company.

It was absolutely the most perfect weekend from start to finish that I have ever had. I am very grateful.

Why Take Care of Yourself When You Have Friends to Do It for You?

2008-10-02T11:59:00.014-05:00

I don't think I've explained yet about the day off I'm taking this Saturday. I would never plan something like this for myself, but my fabulous friend who is an evil bitch for moving to Texas planned it for me. She said, hey, I'm coming to visit, and I have a nice day planned -- please come, too.

So Saturday morning I will head over to the Small Indulgences day spa in the historic district of downtown St. Augustine. There I shall recieve a full body deep tissue massage and a European facial. Yes, really, I shall. Fabulous evil bitch friend will be getting the works (european facial, aromatherapy massage, AND pedicure) because she is extra special and deserves it.

Then we will probably eat lunch. Perhaps have a cocktail, or maybe even two. Over on Anastasia Island (the beach side of the city), we will be staying at the fantabulous Castillo Real hotel. Yes, you are allowed to be jealous. It's ok.

We shall dip our feet in the ocean and wiggle our toes in the sand. We shall sit by the pool with our feet up drinking beverages with little umbrellas in them, hopefully delivered by young and tanned muscular male people. We will talk and laugh and gossip and discuss the relative size of our husbands' penises. We shall read quietly without being interrupted (she has 8 books picked out and *I have 4).

On the way back to my own fair city, we shall stop at the famous St. Augustine Outlet Mall where I will purchase a new purse made out of real leather with just the right length straps and just the right number of pockets and compartments and I will use it for 7 years and I will love it and hug it and call it George. Oh, and I guess we'll stop at Carter's and get some PJ's for the kids.

There will be no crying, screaming, yelling, hitting, biting, kicking, throwing, or other chimpanzee-like behavior. We will not do laundry or dishes or fill out overdue status reports.

It will be absolutely divine. Thank you, fabulous friend, for making it happen.

*My Reading List:
The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama
The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd
The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn R. Saks
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard

Kids Buggin' Ya?

2008-09-30T16:07:00.003-05:00

Start explaining puberty and menstruation to them. That'll shut 'em the hell up.

oh, and by the way... Bad News Hughes is back. Woohoo!

I'm not a little hot, I'm a little boy!

2008-09-27T07:38:00.002-05:00

Sam has a MAJOR case of the poopies. He has been home sick for 3 days, and yesterday was the worst. He seems to be ok so far today, but we are on guard with hugs and clorox at the ready.

Did everyone watch the debates last night? I was watching with one eye on the response-O-meter line graph on CNN. It was interesting to watch when the Dems approval went up and the Rep went down, and vice versa, but there were a few times that both lines went up for the same candidate. The independent or undecided opinion is of course the most important. I don't think anyone is going to change the mind of a hardcore democrat or republican. I think it went well enough for my candidate that I'll direct my forming ulcer away from the election and toward the financial meltdown.

update on the sanity maintenance program:
the laundry is caught up. yes, i know that wasn't a bullet point, but it does make me happy.

quilting: i sewed some quilt squares, and it has made me rethink the design of the quilt. some of those colors just CANNOT be placed next to each other. so i'm picking out stitches and regrouping. i have had a new sewing table purchased and in the box for 3 weeks, but have not yet found time to put it together. on the list.

meditation: ha ha ha. i listened to the first 5 minutes of the cd and promptly fell asleep. now, it seems that steve has stolen my nifty little ipod earbuds for his own, and i must buy more. blah blah blah, i'll order another pair.

yoga: i have made it to 2 yoga classes in 3 weeks. not the best record, but i am trying and i truly enjoy it. i have adjusted to the different style of yoga, and am happy to broaden my yoga knowledge a bit. there is always more to learn.

one week from today, next saturday, i will take AN ENTIRE DAY OFF, to myself, not due to sickness. TA DAAAA! i have 4 books picked out to read, which really is applying the whole overachiever thing a bit too strongly to the concept of rest and relaxation, but whatever. it will be divine.

DIABOLICAL PLAN

2008-09-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

I don't have time to write this up properly, but if the thought of Sarah Palin running our country makes your stomach flip flop, go here now and jump on the bandwagon of a deliciously evil yet harmless prank.

I am so very in.

See, I Post. Sheesh.

2008-09-17T12:43:00.002-05:00

This is still one of my all-time favorites.

I've been craving Bjork lately...

2008-09-17T07:36:00.010-05:00

I don't remember the name of the album I liked, so I'll have to go hunting for it. or ask my sister.

I'm not dead, just very busy. Ups and downs and all around.

Hot dog buns have become very important to Ethan's life lately. He wants hot dog bun toast for breakfast, and lunch is a "hot." What's a hot? A hot dog bun with no dog but still with ketchup. gross.

For some strange reason, both kids love my cajun shrimp with rice dish (even with molecules of veggies touching -- eww). But now Steve has decided he does not like it. I was :::this close::: to having a dinner they would all eat. Instead, Steve has decided to become my personal chef. Bravo!

I STILL have not found time in the dinner/bath/homework/bedtime rush to show Ethan (don't look if you have a weak stomach) these pictures of the mushroom city rise and fall. he is totally going to love it.

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

Quilting!

2008-09-08T13:46:00.002-05:00

I took a bunch of pictures and now of course will not have time to upload them for a few days. I bought the fabric squares from Keepsake Quilting. Search for "charm" and it will show you a bunch of fabric collections for charm quilts, along with a few patterns. I bought the blue/white, green, purple, naturescapes, and 1930's packs. I LOVE the 30's prints -- they are so darned cutesy retro.

i also had to go buy a cheap desk for a sewing table. the card table i had set up went WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA up and down with the needle when i used the sewing machine. oy. stability is key, yo.

So Many Good Things

2008-09-04T19:37:00.003-05:00

When you're doing yoga in an old church and you hear the sound of neighborhood bongos breezing through open cathedral windows with fading sun stretching out across an antique wooden floor, you know you are downtown in a hippie college town.

this was my first non-bikram yoga class (hatha yoga). it was a wee bit crunchy for me, with all the praying and chanting and "do whatever feels good to you" and such. i am used to taxing my body and trying to achieve perfect form and balance and alignment, not all loosey goosey whatever. but it was good. they focused a lot on flow and breathwork, which bikram yoga lacks. i am a neurotic freak with bad lungs who tends to hyperventilate, so this breathwork is good. i did so appreciate the cool breeze floating through the room, instead of the 100 degree sauna. it was less of a workout, but that's what i needed. i came home peaceful and physically relaxed.

Steve deserves a major kudos news report. when i got home, both children were bathed, fed a meal that included fruit and possibly protein, in their pjs, with homework finished!! i missed the evil witching hour of dinner and baths and was able to enjoy snuggles and playtime before bed. it was fantastic. i am trying not to act too excited, lest he imagine he needs some sort of parade. but it is exceptionally cool. now he just needs to do it another 8 times or so without complaining or asking for nookie payment in return. SELFLESS love is divine. he is on the right path today. amen.

also when i got home, my beautiful fantastic each-square-different charm packs arrived today from keepsake quilting! i feel SO rich in fabric! 250 squares, each one unique. it is going to be a wild and crazy quilt. i can't wait. when i opened up the package, ethan got so excited right along with me! it was the sweetest thing to be able to share that with him. we flipped through the groups of squares shouting, ooh look at this one! look at this one!

so today was a good day.

Well, Hello There

2008-08-31T08:44:00.003-05:00

It seems I haven't posted for quite some time. No, my husband is not beating me. Actually, we have spent a week passing around a stomach flu (I might have preferred a good beating instead). So, with the pukies and poopies upon us, I have not felt the need to update you with the boring and sloppy minutiae of my daily existence.

I am, however, working on a new Sanity Maintenance Program (my shrink would be oh so proud).

Things I am Doing (or Planning to Do) that are Capital-G-Double-O Good for Me:

***Sewing. I am gathering materials, making purchases, and planning a workspace OF MY VERY OWN where I can once again make a quilt. The last quilt I made was during the final week I was pregnant with Ethan, some 6 plus years ago. I needs me a hobby, dammit. I ordered several precut 5-inch square fabric collections from Keepsake Quilting that will arrive very soon. I am going to make a charm quilt, where every square is different. The squares are precut, so none of that tedious washing, ironing, and endless cutting for me. Just open the package and sew (after gluttonously rolling around in the bounty that is my beautiful selection of unique fabric squares, perhaps naked, perhaps not).

***Meditation. I dug my old iPod out of the garage, ordered a new charger cable and earbud headphones for it, and purchased two meditation cds. I will plug myself in each night before I go to sleep and wait for the Serenity Now moment to arrive.

***Yoga. It has been a good 6-8 months since I've been to a yoga class. Mostly because my asthma is bad enough that I'm afraid I'll fall over in a 90-minute heated classroom. So instead of continuing to be woosy and avoid the attempt at hard-core Bikram yoga, I am instead going to go to a regular old easy-peasy Hatha yoga class in an unheated room. I can do that, I really can. Plus this class is a little bit earlier, so I could (in theory) go twice a week and still be home in time to kiss the kids goodnight. I planned to go last Thursday night until I realized I was triple-booked. Then Steve and I came down with the Pukies of Doom, and alas, quadruple booking for the evening.

***Any thing else? Oh yes, not giving a fuck. I have decided to no longer care about everyone else's BS and take care of my own. Revolutionary, I know.

Please note that none of these action items has actually occurred -- as of yet, the revolution is still in its planning stages. I will not be held responsible for a future loss of enthusiasm.

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK

2008-08-23T16:13:00.017-05:00

Actually, Steve's a lumberjack. And he's OK. Well, the correct term, for those in the know, is "timberjack." Now you know.

Before:

After:

shall i elaborate? why, yes, i shall. how might one find oneself in such a position so early on a fine saturday morning? well, on the third day of tropical storm rain, the ground becomes a bit, er, spongy. when you step down, your foot makes a squishy sucking sound. what effect does this constant rain and squishy ground have on leaning pine trees?

mornin' sugar. you think that thar tree's leanin' a bit more tahday than it were yestuhday?

well, uh huh, yessah, i thinks it's a'leanin'.

well, i's fixing to take it down.

oh, mommy! iss so wowd!

CRACK, CRACK, CRASH!

now it looks like this:

and this:

that there lumberjack is right sexy with his power tools, eh?

Standin' on Soggy Ground

2008-08-22T19:56:00.005-05:00

Rain, rain, rain, and more rain. occasional big wind. tall pine trees still standing up.

what's more fun than one kid splashing in puddles? TWO KIDS splashing in puddles!

yes, i let my children play outside in the tropical storm. we like pneumonia around here, ok?

i like this one of sam. the lens fogged up with the humidity and it looks like he's glowing while staring up at the ominous swirly sky.

you know why he's laying down in the mud, right? puddle angels. he's making puddle angels. ok, in this actual photo he has just rolled over AFTER making puddle angels, but he was JUST making puddle angels, i swear.

i got my wish -- a hurricane day off while the roof stayed on. however, i was drinking coffee with bailey's over at casa de dada this morning at 10:30 am when i realized GOOD GOD HOLY FUCK i forgot to call my boss this morning and tell him i was staying home with the kids. big old freakin' duh. i was horrified at my own stupidity.

oh well. i'm not fired. i'd best be on my best behavior for a bit, eh? oy vay.

Good Lord

2008-08-21T05:47:00.001-05:00

a wall of wind and rain will be here in like, 2 hours. do we have any batteries? no school today, and probably no work.

Yes, I will get right back to work now

2008-08-20T12:43:00.002-05:00

I could REALLY use a hurricane day. You know, the kind that lets you stay home from work with the kids but still keep the roof attached to the house?

my house is in the middle (ok, the edge) of that red swath. By posting this, I am hereby guaranteeing that it does not come my way.

Shiny New Kid

2008-08-19T19:48:00.005-05:00

Plus Dad, with matching hair. and i suppose matching shirts, too.

the first day of first grade seems to have gone well. nobody beat him up or gave him a wedgie, and he seems to like his teacher. very double plus good!

so first we were going to get a wee little hurricane and then we weren't and now we are again and it's stronger than it was but maybe we won't get it at all. i suppose this uncertainty is more reassuring than the omnipresent threat of catastrophic earthquake like you get in california. besides, i likes me a good storm.

Buddies

2008-08-17T20:45:00.006-05:00

i have a couple of good friends and many acquaintances, but my bestest buddy moved away today. to everloving texas, of all places. and she took her babies with her. fucking bitch.* sigh...

we were lucky enough to have the kids sleep over here saturday night while the grownups loaded the moving van. we ate french fries and cupcakes and went swimming and stayed up late watching movies. we went swimming again this morning. when it was time to leave the pool and time to take the boys home, ethan said to james, this is the last time i'm going to see you. james said, i know. they both hung their heads. it was so sad. they've known each other since birth. literally.

i tried to sound chipper and told them no, of course not, we will se each other. we will visit. it will just be a long time before we see each other again. i had to make a quick exit when we dropped them off. i was totally ready to bawl and trying to suck it up into a mere trickle of tears around the kids. BIG sigh...

aren't they just the sweetest buddies ever? we will visit, but it will probably never be the same. well, we can still hope.

first day of school tomorrow.

*you know i love you and your kids and your husband, but still, um, you're a bitch for moving. it will be good for you. i know. it's all good.

Face cough Book

2008-08-12T12:00:00.002-05:00

ok, this is excessively creepy...

someone invited me to be on facebook yesterday. whatever. now it totally sucked me in. looking up people on facebook is way more effective than googling them. my highschool boyfriend is on there, my ex-husband is on it, my elementary school best friend, and all the heinous south florida cool kids from my high school who completely shunned me and now have all apparently married each other and spawned an incestuous race of cool blond children.

i am totally creeped out. i feel sullied for even checking.

So Sayeth the Mom

2008-08-06T07:05:00.006-05:00

i am taking a day off. an entire day off. to myself. mine.

piss off methuselah! piss off methuselah! name the book and win my respect.

i did not take the kids to school today. i did not pack lunches. i did not find missing shoes, missing backpacks, missing transformers. i did not make coffee, chocolate milk, or breakfast.

i am not going to work. i am not working from home. i will not think about deadlines or over allocations. i will not clean a single thing. i will not pick up a single errant sock, dirty dish, or lego piece. if i see cat vomit, i will not clean it up. i will look the other way and pretend i did not see it at all.

i ALMOST picked up a scrub brush and cleaned a little bit of funk growing around the kitchen faucet, but i did not.

i am going to go buy a $4 cup of coffee, WITH whipped cream, thank you very much, and sit in the doctor's office until someone will write me a script that will make my green chest mucous go away. i am going to read a book while i wait, and it will not be a book about parenting or alzheimer's or medicare regulations, it will be an honest to god NOVEL.

then i will come home and sleep. maybe i'll watch a movie. or three. Twister, followed by Jurassic Park, and maybe even Hunt for Red October or The Fugitive.

i will call my friend Tiffany, who actually had to email me that she is pregnant (HOORAY!!!). this was 5 days ago and i still have not had a chance to call her. i will call her and we will talk for as long as we want without anyone asking me for a glass of juice.

i will not pick up the kids, i will not cook dinner, i will not do anything productive or anything for anyone else except me me ME!

no, i don't feel guilty. yes, i am bitter and sick and yucky. perhaps we could schedule a mom's day off once a month just for sanity, and not only for sickness. i think that would be lovely, don't you?

Beautiful Writing

2008-08-02T06:36:00.002-05:00

Not here lately! Click on over to Jo's place and hear her narration of a lovely hike through the West Virginia woods and tadpoles in the basement. Annie Dillard would be proud.

Setting Up for Success

2008-08-01T08:38:00.002-05:00

i delivered ethan and his buddy james to the corner where we do our morning handoffs with grandma. james is moving in a few weeks, and grandma susan is nice enough to take both boys for one day each week so they can play together beforehand.

during the handoff we established that:
i forgot the dvds james is allowed to watch
it is raining
the kids are mighty feisty
james forgot his backpack with extra clothes and bathing suit
ethan is probably sick. um, yes, he is sick. too sick? i dunno.

grandma susan is a super duper awesome power trooper. she took it all in stride.

Yes Ma'am

2008-07-30T08:28:00.002-05:00

Aunt Foofy says that my yoga mat is calling me. And that an hour long massage on Saturday is a good idea. She sounds pretty smart to me.

It is pouring outside right now. I love a good thunderstorm. I'm going to try and get lots of work done today, and set a 50-minute reminder that tells me to get up and stretch.

balancing...

Apply Kittehs Thrice Daily

2008-07-29T11:08:00.001-05:00

I can't wait to show this to the kids tonight.

Really, It's Not You, It's Me

2008-07-28T09:18:00.001-05:00

You know how you can go to a cocktail party and have a tremendously good time laughing and socializing (first try and remember back to the dawn of time when you used to go to cocktail parties… ) and then the next day you think back and try to decide who was the drunkest person at that party... and if you can’t immediately pinpoint the drunkest person in the room, chances are, it was you...

I have decided after two weeks of grumpiness that the asshole in the room is ME. I know, I know, the likelihood of EVERYONE else being an asshole for two weeks gets slimmer with each passing day. I was foolish to believe it even for a while.

I am not dealing well with my stress. Finding balance with the crazy schedule I keep has always been tenuous at best, but something is clearly more out of balance than usual. I will try to figure out what it is and fix it, and not complain too much in the meantime (probably already too late for that).

Happy jolly birthday party pictures coming soon. There was much cake and candy and rejoicing throughout the land.

A Ditty Little Meme

2008-07-25T21:20:00.002-05:00

care of Marsha (how can I resist being called out by name?)

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse
2. Your significant other? In the office reading the internet.
3. Your hair? way overdue for its annual shearing. i can't decide whether i want to dye it, so I'm putting it off.
4. Your daughter? i would completely ruin a daughter, so i feel lucky that i never had one (sour grapes?).
5. Your son? both asleep in bed
6. Your favorite thing? sparkly crystal Firefly brand earrings, hand made by fair trade artisans in Guatemala.
7. Your dream last night? i can't remember the last dream I'd be willing to repeat!
8. Your favorite drink? a tie between Cosmopolitans and Cafe Mocha (good god, how bourgeois!)
9. Your goal? To be peaceful
10. The room you’re in? dining room
11. Your church? the Ichetucknee river
12. Your fear? um... not keeping everyone happy all the time?
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? the same sweet little florida college town i'm in now. i hope i never leave. same everything -- just older, and hopefully with time for a hobby or exercise.
14. Where were you last night? at home. straightening up the house
15. What you’re not? calm.
16. Muffins? banana nut.
17. One of your wish list items? a backyard fence
18. Where you grew up? Ft. Lauderdale, FL
19. The last thing you did? prep and marinate chicken breasts for grilling at ethan's party tomorrow.
20. What are you wearing? very old Michigan shirt and undies.
21. Your TV? Goddamn that Paper Mario for the Wii that i hear hour after hour every day! i'm not bitter, really. we are about to get in bed and watch a tivo'd UFC fight.
22. Your pets? Curtis is staring at me and whining every time i look up. Tasha is outside hunting small furry things. Bonnie is asleep in her bed.
23. Your computer? snowy white MacBook laptop
24. Your life? a wee bit stressful lately, although much is self-induced.
25. Your mood? tired
26. Missing someone? i wouldn't mind giving Aunt Foofie a big hug.
27. Your car? older Honda CRV
28. Something you’re not wearing? pants!
29. Favorite store? Target, followed closely by Old Navy
30. Your summer? HOT
31. Like(love) someone? my family
32. Your favorite color? green
33. Last time you laughed? a little while ago steve said something silly to make me smile.
34. Last time you cried? Last week when i planned schedules for two major projects at work and realized that it would take me until next July to finish them by myself. they are both due in January. ha ha ha.
35. Who will repost this? i would say DadaMama, but the bitch is taking a weekend out of town! without her kids! well, without two of them anyway. still no fair! how about Sunnie? or Jo? Yo, G! wanna play a meme? i'll give you a gold star for the day...

Nod Your Head and Smile

2008-07-25T10:49:00.002-05:00

Did I mention that I'm a neurotic Freak with a capital F who has to breathe into a paper bag before any social gathering? even a birthday party for a 6 year old? I know. It makes no sense, but 'tis true.

The trick is to breathe s-l-o-w-l-y...

The Big Six

2008-07-23T15:31:00.003-05:00

As I was saying good night to Ethan last night, we talked about how it was his very last day being 5 years old and that tomorrow would be his first day being 6 years old. I started waxing philosophical about how 6 years ago tonight he was a tiny baby in my belly, and then he became his own person with his own body. Isn't that amazing? I asked. "Yeah," Ethan said, "are we going to have cake?"

As long as we all know what's important.

So, Ethan my dear, when you are grown up and hopefully lucky enough to have your own child or to love any child from his conception, please think back and remember your mama saying how amazing this experience is. Then you will begin to understand how completely and utterly your father and I love you.

Happy Birthday, my Sweet Honey Bear.

Unprecedented, edited for kitties

2008-07-21T08:31:00.006-05:00

Wow. I will not make you suffer through details, but I just have to note that I cannot remember the last time I have felt so completely and utterly grouchy. Work, my kids, my husband, my extended family, summer camp -- they have ALL managed to piss me off this morning and it's only 9:30. impressive!

it can only get better, right? have a happy day, y'all. i'm trying.

i have wisely decided to apply reggae and attempt to stretch hourly.

Note: reggae application ineffective; attempting use of JJ Cale. will proceed to cheesy disco if necessary.

life is better... now!

Joy, with Ice Pack

2008-07-16T20:05:00.002-05:00

i seem to have this completely schizophrenic relationship with my role as mother -- some days i adore my children, and some days i want to run screaming. actually, these emotions can fluctuate hourly and even occur simultaneously.

i can honestly say that the happiest i am all day is when my boys sit on my lap and snuggle with me when i get home from work. they are absolutely what is most important in my life.

(oh, and they beat the everloving crap out of me. one of them accidently bent my knee backwards, which is now throbbing like a mofo. he felt soooooo bad.)

lately i've been wishing i could stay home with them again, or at least for a while. they need time at home to rest, and that's the one thing i can't give them right now.

meh.

Scalped

2008-07-15T08:02:00.003-05:00

do not use clippers on the top of my baby's head! oh well. i suppose when i start pulling his hair up in pretend pigtails, it is time for a haircut. and hey, i got to sleep in late instead of getting covered with sticky lollipop hair, so how can i complain?

oh, and for the colorblind among us, my EYE is doing much better now, but thanks for the early morning laugh.

My husband, just now

2008-07-13T09:55:00.000-05:00

i hope you enjoyed your quiet sleep in time, cuz it's over.

they are a few blocks away after having all gone to get haircuts while i slept in shamefully late. apparently, they had a rough time, so rough, that my partner tag-teamed me before even getting home.

i hope hope hope they didn't scalp my baby!

Oooh, the Colors

2008-07-08T19:08:00.005-05:00

behold, the evolution! i particularly like the the green under shading and the egyptian corner. right sexy, eh?

can't elaborate, but horrid day at work today. still employed, though, and ever so grateful.

Purple Carnage Majesty

2008-07-06T19:33:00.004-05:00

um, yes, there is a wee touch of morbidity in this here post.

witness below, the resurrected violet flowers, snatched from the grip of death, only to recover and bloom at full force. if i had a better camera, you could see that the petals sparkle like glitter. also, i have attached all of my sentimental lost-baby weepiness to this plant, so four years later, there's that.

my blackened eye, a lesson in parental restraint. the boy child was being forced to clean up toys at a friend's house, and did so roughly and with attitude. 15 seconds after i told him not to chuck the blocks into the box but to place them there gently, he totally clocked me. i almost killed him, but did not. i get a gold star for today.

tasha and her latest kill. not purple, really, but evocative nonetheless. she is the only animal in this house who has my respect. she can fend for herself, and doesn't take shit from anyone. plus, she likes to eat brains. that does something for me.

New Recipes

2008-07-02T16:16:00.005-05:00

Hi Ali in Ohio!

I’d like to publish recipes from last weekend's cooking fest, but really this was just Shrimp and Grits / Apple Pie version 1.0. To start out, I just read a bunch of recipes online for each dish, and then kind of amalgamated them into my own version. I used these the most.

For the grits, I used old fashioned grits with half water and half milk, plus a cup of shredded cheddar cheese, lots of sea salt, and a little pepper. The next time I do it, I’ll use instant grits and reduce the liquid content. They need to be more grainy and less creamy to be able to fry properly. And actually, I don’t know that I’d fry them again. You need a real deep fryer to cook them hot enough fast enough. Ours were mighty yummy, but mighty greasy, too. If’n ya still wants ta, all you have to do to fry them is to pour the cooked grits mixture into cake pans, chill for a few hours, then slice into pie shapes. Then you dip the pieces in flour and pan fry until lightly browned.

The shrimp part was totally awesome, and I’ll do it again exactly the same. I learned how to make a roux over veggies. I knew a roux was browned flour mixed with oil and then thinned, but I didn’t know how to do it.

Spicy shrimp:
Cook enough bacon (or fake bacon flavored turkey bacon, if you’re at my house) to get a tablespoon or two of drippings. Remove the bacon. Don’t wash the pan. (feel free to eat the bacon now, because only the bacon drippings go in the recipe, not the actual bacon.) Dice one Vidalia onion, one red pepper, and one green pepper; sauté in the bacon drippings over medium-high heat until the onions start to turn clear, about 5 minutes.

Now is the cool new part. Sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of flour over the veggies. Stir well to coat the veggies. Keep stirring and cooking it for about two minutes, until the flour starts to brown and get a little sticky. This is how you make good sauce! (I had no idea.)

Add a cup or so of chicken or veggie stock (I had some in the freezer, but you can use a can). I added a cup or so of white wine, what the heck, and a can of Del Monte fresh cut basil/garlic tomatoes with the juice. Then add a pound and a half of medium shrimp (defrosted, peeled, and deveined. I buy them that way because I HATE cleaning shrimp). Season to taste with granulated garlic, cayenne pepper, and Louisiana/RedHot/tabasco or other hot sauce, a little salt and black pepper. Reduce the heat and simmer until the shrimp are opaque and cooked through. As soon as the shrimp are cooked, either serve immediately or turn the heat way down. Do not overcook the shrimp – yuck.

Spoon over fried cheddar grit cakes, or a scoop of grits, whatever you like.

Apple Pie:
I am a cheater and totally bought two frozen Marie Callender pie crusts (srsly, why roll out pie crust? It’s so easy to mess up and it takes a loooong time. I still felt like a good American baking apple pie.) Apple filling is easy. Peel and core 5 or 6 medium red apples. Slice them thin or thick as you like, just make them all as close to the same size as possible. Soak the apples in water with lemon juice as you cut them so they don’t turn brown. Drain the apples in a colander.

Back in the bowl, mix ½ cup brown sugar, ½ cup white sugar, 1 tsp cinnamon, a sprinkle of nutmeg, and 3 Tbs flour. Toss the apples in that to coat them evenly. Dump it all into the frozen pie crust. Put 4 or 5 pats of butter on top (everything’s better with butter). I defrosted one of the pie crusts and cut it into strips to weave the top crust. This was pretty, but I think the apples would have been more tender if the top crust was solid, or if I had covered the whole thing with tinfoil to bake. (that issue will be addressed in version 1.1 of Apple Pie). The recipe said to bake at 400 for 50-60 minutes. I would probably bake it longer at 350 next time. I did put tinfoil around the edges to keep them from burning, and it looked like it was necessary.

The apple pie was SUPER yummy, still warm, with Bryer's vanilla ice cream.
mmmmm... pie...

Tonight I am eating take out pizza. Happy cooking!

My Baby is Grown

2008-07-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight, for the first time ever, Sam told me that I was not his friend anymore. Then he watched my face to see how I would react.

My little baby is turning into a kid, right before my very eyes. **wipes tear**